Sherlocked 2017

I was trying to take a picture of Lestrade’s warrant card, but the display case was shoved in the corner and my phone has been dropped too many times to take clear pictures.

lestrade props

The decision to attend Sherlocked was very last minute. Earlier, I’d decided it was pointless for me to go – without Rupert Graves, there would definitely not be enough Lestrade, but on Friday, bored at work, I got out my iPad and checked the convention site to see which lucky character actor* would be replacing Amanda Abbington. I wondered if they’d managed to sell out their high-end packages without Sherlock or John. No. Tickets were not sold out, not even close. Seeing this, I started to feel… a little sorry for the convention. A little sorry for the fandom. Timing is everything, and if this event had happened between S2 and S3, tickets would have sold out faster than those Bjork ones that disappeared as I was trying to buy them, faster than Gallifrey One. So, I bought one of the $125 pleb tickets. Saturday, I woke up, started to plan my day, and then remembered, oh god I bought a ticket for Sherlocked. Of course, I immediately fell back asleep because that is what Saturdays mean to me.

I arrived around 2ish, spent some time being horrified by $31 parking, checked into the hotel, and then wandered into the Una Stubbs and Cumberparents panel. I reached into my purse to turn off my phone, and discovered that I’d forgot to return Rogue One to the Redbox! I looked up Redbox, and promptly started walking in the wrong direction. Despite the overly bright sunlight and strong winds, it was an enjoyable walk, lots of time to plan out a Cassian/Jyn Evangelion AU** where they live happily ever after even though the ending was what completely sold me on the pairing.

Eventually I looked up, saw Denny’s, knew that was wrong wrong wrong, and headed back to hotel, making it back for the end of the auction. On one hand, it would be nice to buy fannish things, on the other hand, they would sit in my closet until the next KonMari.

Andrew Scott seems like an entertaining guy; unfortunately, I can’t remember anything he said because I was busy thinking about the Redbox and I saw someone in denim jacket with a TJLC patch and I was trying to figure out how much money you would have to pay me to wear something like that. $100, $1000, $10,000? No, all I care about is Lestrade, so I would never. $50,000? No. I feel about Lestrade the way Gussie Fink-Nottle feels about newts. $100,000? After much consideration, I decided that I would be willing to wear a TJLC jacket if I were given $70,000 (after taxes). That seems reasonable.

I made up for my lack of attention by paying close attention to his comments during the screening of the roof scene the next day. His comments: (1) It’s weird to see yourself. (2) It’s been a long time. (3) Moriarty is a creep. (4) Moriarty and Eurus talked about RuPaul’s Drag Race during their five minutes of alone time. (5) Moriarty was not under the control of Eurus. I accept (4) as canon.

After the panel, I went back to my room. One of the advantages to sitting in the pleb seats at the back is rushing out for elevators and bathrooms before the crowd.  I made it to the elevator long before everyone else, hit the button for my floor, saw someone was approaching, and I tried to hit the ‘open’ button, but hit ‘close’ instead. Luckily, Steven Moffat is much better at not getting hit by elevator doors than I am, so he made it safely inside. I have occasionally expressed the idea that I might have some things to say to Moffat if I ever met him; however, I believe that speaking to strangers in elevators, aside from asking ‘which floor’ if you are blocking the buttons, is not something that is done. And, honestly, even though Sherlock ended for me with ‘The Sign of Three’, I am pro-Moffat thanks to my love for Capaldi*** Doctor. I recently rewatched some RTD Who, and I am glad that Moffat took over. So glad.

The sports bar in the lobby wasn’t full, so I settled in with a book and a Moscow Mule. The first one was fine, but the second was strong and finishing it gave me the idea of looking for the Redbox again since it was still before 9PM. I looked up Redbox, and promptly started walking in the wrong direction. A different wrong direction. I started thinking about how when I was a kid I used to liven up dreary walks by imagining I was Frodo taking the ring to Mordor. Eventually I looked up, saw a wasteland of rental cars, knew that was wrong wrong wrong, and headed back to hotel. I collapsed in the lobby and got back to reading Loving. Later, sober and curious, I went downstairs and peered into the forbidden fruit that was the ‘London Calling’ party. As I expected, it looked like a school disco, a few cardboard cutouts of London monuments and a Dalek contributed to the ‘extra hour in the ball pit’ feeling.

Sunday: Una Stubbs/Mark Gatiss, Andrew Scott in the screening room, a sandwich, Mofftiss & Vertue, 20 minutes of the fan panel, and the writing panel.

As I ate my sandwich, I eavesdropped on what sounded like tumblr irl. They complained about how fanart makes John look fat, straight girls who write sex scenes badly, and about how all the incest and paedo stuff is awful, except when it is something they personally ship. And, of course, Sherlock is a love story. It was really strange hearing tumblr coming out of actual human mouths. However, they’re right about the last point, but not in the way they think. #sherstradeconspiracy

I wanted to ask Moffat a question about Who, but no one else was going off-topic, and my only Sherlock question is, ‘Was Lestrade’s mystery date Eurus?’**** Listening to the talks confirmed what I’d already guessed: Eurus and Victor Trevor were not planned from the beginning, Sherlock’s parents were originally supposed to be dead, and that they wanted to make Mary’s death a big deal because it wasn’t one in Canon. Also, it’s pretty clear that Moffat’s idea of the relationship between Sherlock and Irene is similar to the Doctor and River Song. For me, the most interesting part was hearing about how the 90 minute running time affected the way they structured the plot. They had extra time, so they threw a bunch of things in and rushed through Moriarty. The last question to Mofftiss came from Leslie Klinger, who asked if there were any regrets, anything that made it into the show that shouldn’t have. ‘It’s all great,’ was Moffat’s final verdict.

The signed photo was $25. I wasn’t going to buy it because I’m not that into autographs, but $25 is less than I spent on alcohol on Saturday night, and less than I will spend on food for a bbq today, and I have a theory that once you’ve wasted some money, you might as well waste it all. I couldn’t decide between two photos that I really liked, so I bought a third one that I didn’t like as much. This made sense at the time.

Lestrade edit

*Jonathan Aris, aka Anderson. I hope he enjoyed his weekend at the airport.

**Fusion? Whatever that thing is called when you use the worldbuilding, but none of the characters. Doesn’t matter because I’m not going to write it, and if I did write it, UC Gundam would be a better AU setting even though it misses the ‘metaphysical’ aspects.

***I haven’t been watching the new series because I am unhappy about Capaldi leaving. In some ways, I am very much like my mother, who stopped watching Marley and Me when the dog got sick.

****Until he says no, the answer is yes. They spent the entire time talking about Sherlock and all the funny things Sherlock says and does. ‘If you say, but he’s a genius one more time, I’ll stab you with my fork,’ Eurus says, laughing. Lestrade laughs, changes the subject, blissfully unaware that she is 100% serious.


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